For your protection: Bullying it’s being monitored by a caring Mom.  Please proceed with CAUTION!

To his parents: You may not know that your son is acting like a bully. He may not know this either. Definitely, it is reasonable.  Acting like a bully is something that is learned when interactions from behaviors he observes in his home and community. Your son treats others unfairly, makes jokes about others, judges by making generalizations, and uses stereotypes to make others feel bad; just because of his lack of understanding of what equality, acceptance, compassion, and caring truly mean.  

To clarify: My son is not an immigrant, my son is not monolingual, my son is not from South or Central America, my son is not a roofer, lawn mower, or churros maker, my son doesn’t play hockey, my son is not idiot, my son is not a millionaire and neither lives in poverty, my son did not cross the river, my son is not illegal and neither are his parents; however, it sounds like your son is confused and uses my son’s looks, last name, cultural heritage, and preferences to bully him everyday in school.  By the way, WHAT IF my son were all the above? It doesn’t give your son the right to mess with him; it doesn’t empower your son to do what he does.  It simply doesn’t give him any rights to injure, offend, and diminish anyone.

Some culture: My son is Bicultural (Fully American, but embraces his family heritage); my son is Bilingual (English is his native language but also speaks fluent Spanish), my son is Bi-literate (Speaks, Listens, Reads and Writes in English but does the same in Spanish); my son was born in United States and has American citizenship as does his parents, my son travels to different countries and relates pretty amazingly when immersed into those cultures, my son has parents that pay taxes and do not ask for free social services; my son plays baseball, soccer, football, and basketball but he doesn’t like to play hockey; it’s not his favorite sport. My son doesn’t live in a trailer park, neither in a million dollar house but has friends from both sides and has a prosperous life; my son is smart and pretty much an average child.  My son is as handsome as yours, my son likes fishing the same as yours, my son has dreams the same as yours, my son loves his family as yours, my son has brothers with green eyes like yours, and has in front of him a wonderful future just as yours.

If you knew him well: Your son hates because he has been taught to hate. He sees differences in a wrong way because he was taught to see them with a negative connotation. He feels empowered because he has been given somehow a weird level of super power. He is cruel with the things he doesn’t understand. There is such a fine line between meanness, social isolation, and bullying and he has trespassed that line already. Yes, I know being culturally responsible is not an easy task; can’t be bought in a grocery store, neither developed by practicing it as we have our own bias, self beliefs, patriotic culture, and perceptions; but definitely can be manageable by having more empathy and some sort of sense of respect.

Do your research: Teaching your son about multicultural role models and ordinary people, serves as an effective method for demonstrating that people of all genders, ethnicities, and appearances can have a positive influence on the world and deserve to be respected and emulated; they are easy to find  just walk around your community, public library, search Google, visit his school; you will find tons of them!  Build Empathy.  Talk about the struggles all human’s face. Help your son to respect all people, especially those who may look, speak, act, or seem different from him.  Be a role model. Act the way you want your son to behave. Sons who hear adults using unkind or put down words to describe people that they do not like, will use the same language.

Teach respect. Respect my son’s desire to honor his family language, to love his country but also mine; to love Pop but Latin music too, to like baseball player Bryce Harper and Jose Altuve as well! I just want my son fostering global awareness and building acceptance within his friends. I don’t want my son to feel pressured to dispose of their bicultural norms, behaviors, and traditions in order to fit in with the prevalent social order where he goes to school. He won’t. He will always appreciate the wonderful things ahead of him due to his talents, bilingual skills, and cultural knowledge.

For Your Information: I will continue doing my part, please do yours; it will give your son a valuable life lesson. 

Coming Back | De regreso!

A few months ago, I decided to quit Target. An organization that gave me tons of learning. Below my farewell message to coworkers, teammates, friends and colleagues. I am sure my relationship with Target will last overtime J  

Dear All-

After almost four years, I would like to share with you that next Friday April 17th will be my last day working for this amazing company.  I have been thinking deeply how to say goodbye to all of you; not an easy task but here I go. 

When I started working on “the Land of Opportunities” I thought that (1) being an immigrant, (2) having a second language learner accent, and (3) keeping my culture intact while adapting to a new one, were going to be the three biggest limitations to succeed professionally. It would have been much easier if I would have stayed in my country of origin; probably, but I didn’t. I love the fact that I am now bilingual, bicultural and biliterate despite all the efforts.  Certainly, I was wrong about these three things. They delayed the possibility to pursuit my dreams earlier but never stopped me to fight for them. I came alone to this country to fulfill my desire to grow; I really wanted to make my parents proud. Even though my journey hasn’t finished yet; I could say, I have accomplished so many dreams: having my own family, feeling success, and working at Target are some of those. I am proud I picked Target!

Target has taught me so many things! Good and bad ones, yes! Why not to say it? That’s why we are transforming, don’t we? I feel a strong LOVE for this organization.

I have learned that being humble: opens millions of doors;  being persistent and passionate: my personal brand; giving my best possible: a stamp to change perceptions; standing up stronger every time I fall: my superpower; but most importantly, going above and beyond –being positive always-  when others have thought I wasn’t enough: my special talent.

Another reason I enjoyed my life at Target was being part of the Hispanic Business Council. It was heard, I was empowered, I was promoted, I was inspired, I was myself.  I found real people, I was able to better appreciate others, built a culture of acceptance, including the beauty of being recognized for some others as their role model - what a privilege! - It is like a special community within Target that gives you hope and a sense of belonging- Stay there, you are very valuable and it is a good ladder to shine. 

Life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live YOUR best life; I am still here trying! I have now a new dream; give back to the community by serving those that are pursuing their dreams as I started almost 16 years ago. The non-profit world is waiting for me and I am starving to serve J

Thank you for the little piece of yourself you gave me! It has been my pleasure getting to know and work with you these years.

I’d love to stay connected!

Mariela

www.linkedin.com/in/marielaspejh

Be positive, patient and persistent.  The more you feel like quitting, the more there is to be gained by continuing to do all three.  Because the strongest people aren’t the people who always win, but the people who don’t give up when they lose.

El éxito no llega por casualidad. A las pruebas me remito.

Un amigo muy querido siempre me decía que en la vida no importa cuanto se luche, hay que nacer con suerte para poder llegar lejos. Estoy segurísima que con el paso del tiempo, se ha dado cuenta que el éxito se trabaja, se logra muchas veces a punta de sacrificios, paciencia y mucha preparación. 

Pudiera decir que soy una mujer con suerte pero la verdad es que he alcanzado mis objetivos trabajando duro desde que tengo 16 años, súmale un poquito más del doble, y completamos mis años de vida a la fecha. Siempre quise estudiar en los Estados Unidos, mi sueño, a los 15, era ser seleccionada en un programa de intercambio para aprender inglés, conocer la cultura y vivir la experiencia. Nunca lo logré. No me pude venir de intercambio pero sí decidí que trabajaría para lograrlo. 

Nací orgullosamente en Venezuela, me crié como toda una caraqueña, citadina cien por ciento. Competitiva, sí, no lo puedo negar pero también muy justa. Algo que creo me faltó aprender mientras viví en mi país fue ser más humilde, servir a mi comunidad y ayudar a los más necesitados. Ahora valoro enormemente la capacidad de dar sin esperar nada a cambio, lo importante que es la diversidad y sentirse incluído, así como reconocer tus talentos y valores, no por como luces por fuera si no por lo que llevas por dentro.

Siempre quise ser narradora de noticias. Una de las cosas que aprendí, cuando quise ir a la universidad fue que mientras vas a la escuela hay que ser disciplinado, estudiar mucho e ir un poco mas allá para sobresalir. Fui una estudiante promedio. Mis notas no me ayudaron para entrar la la universidad la primera vez que lo intenté. Tuve que estudiar Mercadotecnia y Estudios Internacionales antes de lograr mi primer objetivo en la vida, graduarme como Comunicadora Social. Sí, al final, me aceptaron en la facultad de Comunicaciones -esta vez no fui una estudiante promedio-, me esforcé y me gradué en 1.999, con muy buenas notas. 

Trabajé mientras estudiaba. Al principio estudiaba en las mañanas y trabajaba por las tardes. Algunos fines de semana y feriados. Mi madre me buscaba al trabajo hasta que me compré mi primer carro. Fue a los 22, cambié mi turno de trabajo e iba a clases por las noches. Trabajaba en Telecomunicaciones, empecé atendiendo teléfonos y terminé en mi área de estudios: comunicaciones, investigación de mercado y relaciones institucionales. No recuerdo cuando pero cambié mi enfoque de ser periodista para dedicarme a trabajar en el mundo de las comunicaciones corporativas. Suele ocurrir, es parte de tu desarrollo profesional. Es parte de la vida, buscas las oportunidades y te ajustas al momento para seguir superándote. La suerte no es tu protagonista, si no el tamaño de tu empeño y los líderes con quienes te rodeas. 

Cuando me vine a los Estados Unidos tena 26 años, me iba muy bien en Venezuela. Mi mamá me dijo que no me viniera, pero si algo me ha caracterizado toda la vida es lograr mis sueños y tomar riesgos. ¡Y vaya que los tomé! Estudie inglés en Washington DC, trabajé en la embajada de mi país en la capital americana y en Londres. Por una u otra razón, volví a los Estados Unidos, esta vez a Houston, Texas. Me tocó trabajar haciendo de todo, como muchos de mis amigos, esos que han triunfado. Tuve que cambiar mi carrera y me hice maestra bilingüe. Lo más hermoso que me ha pasado en el mundo laboral. Lideré muchos educadores, implementé programas educativos para servir a niños que no reciben el debido apoyo, me entregué a cada padre, a cada cultura, a cada sueño. Encontré mi otra pasión en la vida, la educación y servir a la comunidad. 

Trabajé con gente bella, diversa, y llena de intensidad. Después de 10 años, decidir soñar en grande, volver al mundo corporativo pero unir mi experiencia en Comunicaciones con Educación y me sumergí en el mundo minorista, trabajando para un comercio nacional con oficinas corporativa en Minneapolis. Le cambié el mundo a mis hijos y mi esposo. No fue fácil. No ha sido fácil y continúo buscando mi crecimiento, ha sido lento pero muy productivo. No importa dónde ni en qué inviertes tu tiempo para desarrollarte, no es tiempo perdido, los frutos de tu esfuerzo siempre tendrán un buen resultado.

Hace unos cuatro meses, me hice Ciudadana Americana. Un honor muy grande. He sacrificado mucho, incluyendo algunas ilusiones de mi familia con la esperanza de dar ese gran paso para solidificar mi estabilidad profesional, garantizarle la educación a mis hijos y ser feliz. He sido valiente. A veces, me ha dado resultados, ha veces me han pisado, al final estoy donde estoy por mérito propio, de eso sí estoy segura. Aunque con el tiempo he tenido que dedicarme a otras cosas, nunca he dejado de ser positiva y seguir luchando. 

He ayudado a otros, he servido de apoyo y hasta de modelo a seguir. Tengo un nuevo sueño entre cejas, uno hermoso, por el que lucharé con todas mis fuerzas. No pienso mudarme, he aprendido a que la estabilidad de mi familia también influye en el éxito y la armonía laboral. Mi vida apenas empieza. Hay que recordar lo vivido y olvidar lo que ha dolido. Seguir para adelante, siempre dar más de lo que esperan de ti, arriesgar un poco y nunca rendirse. 

El éxito no llega por casualidad, no es cuestión de suerte, hay que enfocarse, medir muy bien tus metas, trabajar por ellas, ser positivo, y entusiasta;  el resto, llega por añadidura.